Reason to Answer

I often wonder what I feel about my life lately. I feel a pressure to feel something even though at this moment I am in quiet and thoughtful recluse in finding a peace of mind for myself. I will go out of my way to avoid gossip or people with vibes that do not go well with mine, and I find that you have a lot more thoughtful conversations, but it also limits your conversation. The people who I do know find it a bit frustrating and odd even that I do not participate in gossip and have chosen to remove myself entirely from those conversations. They ask me things like:
"Then what do we talk about?"
and I find myself not needing a reason to answer. If you can't find something other than gossip to talk about then why are we in each other's lives? If we only talked about gossip then I find it enlightening that we can't talk about anything otherwise and I feel that we need to stop and analyze the situation that we are in. Contrary to all of my previous entries I find it enlightening to let it go. I understand now with a different perspective of things why those things had to happen to me, and I understand that I had to go through it not to become a stronger person nor was it to become who I am now, but I had to go through it to understand why certain situations, people, and things worked out the way they did, and to learn to cope with it, and eventually get over it.
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One can argue that it took me a really long time to understand these things and a lot of therapy.

-Fatima