Thursday, January 19, 2017

Flood

It's been a while hasn't it? So many things have happened since I wrote here last. My first apartment got flooded and my landlord moved me to a different apartment which is much nicer than my first apartment. I just finished moving my things today and as I stood in my first apartment one last time I grew sad. This feeling of sadness overwhelmed me and "There's never a right time to say goodbye," started to auto play in my head. As I stood there in the empty humid apartment one last time I came to cherish the time I had spent there this previous semester. I did not realize how much a part of me that apartment had become. I remembered things like when my brother came to visit and we cooked food while watching Bleach on my TV, or how my mum helped me move in, and as I stared out the window I grew more upset by the minute that my time there had come to an end. 
I feel like before I knew it I had come to terms with living alone and having my own space. That apartment had become a part of me and I did not think that I would leave it as soon as I did. Well it more of like left me, but I wasn't prepared for something so sudden like a boiler exploding on the third floor and seeping its way onto five other apartments including my own. I've thought about it and while I was a bit angry with the fact that my TV had water damage or that the water got into my printer and it no longer works (I was reimbursed for all of the damage by my landlord,) I am slowly coming to terms that maybe this was supposed to happen to get me out of my comfort zone. I am thankful that I wasn't in the apartment because I honestly do not know what I would of done if boiling hot water had fallen on me,
I am back in the University town after an enlightening time back home for the holidays. A lot of unfortunate things happened to others that while they did disappoint me because they were happening also became a learning experience and I was better able to fully comprehend that I had made the right decision about my life, and about staying in school and somehow someday finishing my degree. 
I felt really upset yesterday for a number of reasons. For starters I had a really horrible dream that I couldn't shake off so I had very little broken sleep, and then I was put into an unexpected situation where in two of my classes grad students are teaching them throwing me completely off but I hope for the best for both of them and that they learn a lot, Although in my first class because it is a Japanese 2 class the grad student came up to me and asked me a couple of questions because I am a transfer student so I didn't take Japanese 1 at this school where I am currently at but at my previous Uni, and it threw me off, and I'm not sure if it threw me off because I had a lack of sleep the night before or I was nervous, or I was thrown off that he was a year older and I was questioning my life's choices because he had his life pretty put together, and I did not, or if I was imagining the situation completely different from what the reality was, or if I was nervous as hell, but I had to keep myself from blushing because I felt embarrassed and I'm not really sure why.
As I was talking to my mother today I came to the dark realization that maybe it was because I had not played video games so my obsessive personality was not being satisfied because I was going through withdraw symptoms and I was not obsessing over a game or a game mission. I still haven't played I have my TV on an intense drying therapy so that I can try to salvage it and play soon.

-Fatima

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